I lie in wait as my mind wanders. Light and darkness without meaning, fear and joy have begun evading my being. Stripped naked of all emotion, I swim in swathes of desire. As the engulfing warmth of faceless brown eyes surround me. A look so gentle, so sweet and yet so inquiring and inquisitive.

Breathless yet unaware, I sink deeper. Lit by moonlight, gently piercing through my desire, lies the ocean floor. Riddled with simplicity, it beckons a surrender. I question the voices in my head, voices of my peers, voices of my loved ones, as they point to the path. Someone inside me says I am not ready. Many have come and wallowed in the pool I lie, many have failed, but I am not ready yet. There is someone inside me, with a muffled voice he reminds me of who I am, of what I am.

Marred by hatred and violence is the world within these waters. Lost in circles of meaningless existence are its inhabitants. But I am, therefore I belong there, amidst the noise and activity, anonymous yet well-defined. Within society's realm, a man with a purpose. Yet my purpose seems different, elusive. I am not ready yet.

In search of the greatest love thus, I set out. Towards the darkness I swim, where the waters are black, uncertain, unpredictable, yet enticing. Suddenly, a gentle, warm, soothing sensation appears across my lips, and I lose sight of the darkness. A new found light attracts me, the promise of the end of search, could it be? Facing the light, I struggle to determine the features of a face, of its identity, but nothing exists, just a name. A rush of memories and passionate nights of joy and laughter formulate into wondorous experiences. The experiences transform into memories and then the light begins to fade. In a state of panic I reach further for the light, swimming vigorously as an unfamiliar cold sets in, the fire inside me threatened with extinction. Now the faceless light has disappeared and all that is left is the smooth ocean floor in the deepest depths of the black waters. Tired, lost and lonely I approach the voices of my past once again. Searching for solace and comfort I speak with them. Once again they beckon me towards a path that has been laid out, covered in rosy promises and gleeming with optimistic assurances.

Discourse

Let them perish, Prince! and fight! He who shall say,
"Lo! I have slain a man!" He who shall think, "Lo! I am slain!" those both Know naught!
Life cannot slay. Life is not slain! Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to
be never; Never was time it was not; End and Beginning are dreams! Birthless and
deathless and changeless remaineth the spirit for ever; Death hath not touched it at
all, dead though the house of it seems!
-Supreme being- Bhagwad Gita

Praxis of Emotion

As the ships of the night cradle me to sleep, as the night sky engulfs me in its womb, as the stars give me direction, and sweet fear feeds on my soul along with gladness and joy, I ask you in the words of the Gods..............

"Where were you, when i was burned and broken?While the days slipped by, from my window watching
And where were you when i was hurt and i was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do, surround me

While you were hanging yourself on someone else's wordsdying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lasted for and lost in timewhile the seeds of life and the seeds of change are planted
Outside the rain, fell dark and slowWhile I pondered on this dangerous but irresistable past time

I took a heavenly life throughout silenceI knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly life throughout silenceI knew the waiting had begun
Headed straight into the shining sun."
- Pink Floyd

No beauty has espoused my soul in its completeness as the thought of the light on your face and the sound of your laughter in my ears. It reverberates in all its glory through the manifestation that is you. It must be love, my mind says, for it tingles my senses in ways I have never before experienced and brings me a warmth that I have never before swum in.

Sequential Systematic

One day a young girl woke up in her bed. The morning sun shining on the leaves of the tree outside her window, she sat up and in her soft, gentle hangover from the slumber of the previous night, smiled. This is what she saw.

A bird singing, perching on the ledge, that had witnessed many emotional outbursts through countless nights of pain and joy.

A ray of light gently engulfing the floor of the room and in doing so revealing the beautiful innocence of hopes and desires.

A realization of the remnants of a dream of the night past and a desperate search for putting the pieces back together.

A new-found freedom of expression and anxiety in the hope of the experience of a new day.

A rhythmic thumping of the heart beat, continuous and unrelenting upto the moment of darkness.

A new touch of the soul on the blanket of humanity as it solemnly spreads over the terrain in its green glory.

A painful smile that appears across the face of a virgin, overwhelmed only by the tear-drops that trickle down the aged cheeks of mankind.

An anticipation of the new day shaped by the light of the sun glaring down on to the beautiful and peaceful blue earth.

A touch of emotion on the soulless lives of shattered hearts and lost souls.

A soft warm light in the greatest depths of the darkness within my soul.